well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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