hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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