My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
