Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I faked an abortion last night.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
