3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
