He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
