He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
