We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
