i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
