all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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