so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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