I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
