You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
