You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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