Dual....:-)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize