Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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