Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
