How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
