if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
