If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
