remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
