I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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