Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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