New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
