just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize