i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
