I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize