dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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