Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
