And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
