Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
