My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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