until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
