you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
