dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
