these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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