Well douche your snatch and let's go!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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