well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
