Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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