I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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