I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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