Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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