Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
