My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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