My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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