These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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