I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
