Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
