It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this will be a night to untag.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
