Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
