I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
