i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
