What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
