stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize