Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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