Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
