i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
