By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
