just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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