The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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